Getting Over a Break-Up

Lost Love is Still Love

Have you experienced a loss that has shaken the very foundations of who you are? Sometimes a break-up seems to come out of nowhere and you’re left feeling bewildered, confused and unable to make sense of it.

It may leave you questioning things about yourself, your life and most of all, everything that you thought your relationship was and contained.

With Conscious Uncouplingᵀᴹ you can heal yourself, to make you feel happy and fulfilled again, and knowing exactly how to make sure you don’t repeat the patterns from your previous relationships.

But, with Conscious Uncouplingᵀᴹ, you can also navigate the separation from your former partner with a sense of goodwill, generosity and respect that will allow you to do minimal damage to yourself, your former partner, your children and any family and friends that will be affected by the separation.

The problem tends to be that your brain is configured to hold on to the people that you have formed an attachment to. This means that separation is an unnatural thing for the brain to do, and that your brain naturally wants to create strive and conflict in order to manage the separation.

Conscious Uncouplingᵀᴹ teaches you how you can bypass these inherent systems through a 5-step process.

Step 1 Find Emotional Freedom

The first obstacle to separating from your partner in a healthy way, is the emotions that you may be experiencing. Breaking an attachment, especially to a primary partner, brings up feelings such as rage, hatred, fear and despair.

In this step you learn how to harness these deep, dark emotions and find the message they contain for positive change in your life. You are left feeling empowered over these difficult and often overwhelming emotions.

You begin to see how this break-up may be an opportunity for you to transform these destructive and disappointing patterns in relationship.

Finally, you’ll set an intention to create something beautiful from this difficult separation.

Step 2 Reclaim Your Power and Your Life

Here you identify what your story of victimization around the break-up is, and how you can shift your perspective to see yourself as a powerful being who is learning how to break the pattern of the dynamic of your old relationship.

Learn to see yourself as the source of your experience, not in order to feel shame, but rather to feed you power and help you realise how you can make sure you won’t repeat the painful patterns again.

Look at how you’ve been showing up in relationship that set you up to be disappointed, and start to see how you can show up in ways that reflect your real value.

Make amends to yourself, in order to make sure you won’t make the same mistakes again, and learn how you can generate trust again.

Step 3 Break the Pattern, Heal Your Heart

Find out where you picked up the beliefs that lay at the root of your disappointing experience in love. When you realise what painful beliefs lay at the source of the painful patterns in your relationships.

These beliefs cause you to show up in ways and accept behaviour from others that keep the painful patterns of relationships repeating themselves. By identifying these beliefs, and seeing what’s really true about your self-worth, so that you can be liberated from how they affect your life and create happier and healthier relationships moving forward.

You learn to see how these old beliefs have been influencing how you show up, especially in your romantic relationships, and how you can move beyond them.

Some of the new ways you can show up in relationship might require you to develop your skills and capacities, so you want to identify which ones you need to develop.

Step 4 Become a Love Alchemist

At this point, you start taking actions and make choices that generate a positive future for yourself and for others. These choices and actions allow you to leave behind the old beliefs that have influenced your relational dynamics and transform your relationships to reflect your value and power.

You recognise the love that brought you together, to value what you had together and seeing all stages of the relationship with respect and appreciation.

Set an Intention for the positive future between you that will serve as your North Star, to help you navigate the separation with integrity and strength.

Discover how to dissolve any residual anger or hurt left between you, so you can move forward with a clean slate.

Learn to communicate in ways that will allow you to create a healthier dynamic between you in the future.

Step 5 Create Your Happily Even After Life

How can you make sure that you make wise, healthy and generative decisions as you create your new life moving forward?

You want to set up structures that allow you, and everyone involved, to thrive after this process.

You want to look for any old agreements that might still have influence over you and the decisions that you make, and look for more appropriate agreements between you moving forward.

It helps to create a sense of nourishment and support in your community at large that allows both of you to continue to function within that community.

Finally, you can do a Conscious Uncoupling ceremony to complete the relationship between you and your former partner. This will liberate and empower you both, honouring the relationship that existed between you.

Turn this breakdown into a breakthrough

In this process, you learn how to use this breakdown to get in touch with how much resilience you are capable of. It takes courage to make this decision, but you don’t need to do this alone. You can use this pain to discover who you really are.

Discover healthy and cooperative ways of managing the process ahead of you that ensures everyone involved is set up to win moving forward.

If you want to know more about going through the Conscious Uncouplingᵀᴹ process with me as a coach, you can schedule a Discovery Call to see if we might be a good fit to work together.